Fang Ride

Thanks, that was really useful. I'll try to do more reviews and work on what you said. That's probably the most useful review i've had so far.

I think it's brilliant! Only the "quiet as a mouse" is a bit old. Other than that, Iwannareadmore!

Thanks for the reviews they were helpfull. Exept on quite a few things I don't agree with you, Saint. Actually it was a typo: "He rounded a corner and strode ...

Well thanks for those, I'm going to make a rewrite. It was really a prolouge to a kind of murder mystery.

I dunno. I dissagree with both of you and say you are being picky. I don't think there is anything wrong with it and must give a 10/10! I suggest ...